Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Who am I?
The other day I thought I saw someone that used to be in my life. I’m still not sure if it was that person or not. I mean, this city is only so big. Sometimes I wish I could read minds. (Key word = sometimes). I’m sure you never worry about running into me. Why should I care about running into you so many months later. Why do I still think about you on a daily basis? I’m sure I never even cross your mind anymore.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Happiness hit her like a train on a track
School has started! The summer... well it ended...and end fast it did. I can already feel myself getting back into the swing of things, and it feels so good. I really am so lucky. I love what I do. Man, I can't tell you how much I look forward to doing my job. I'll be stressed out, anxious about life, etc and when I start doing my thing it all just goes away. I'm so thankful for the opportunities I have here at Utah.
So I played trombone this summer, but not nearly enough... My face hurts! Going from one hour a day to four to five just plain hurts! I'll get there though. I need a good kick in the butt for not practicing enough this summer.
What a year this is shaping up to be. Lots of life lessons this year. So many tears shed. So many friends made. So many laughs. So many second chances at life.
I tried to cry the past few days. Like 5 times. I couldn't. I didn't have any tears left. My eyes said no, even though my heart wanted to unlock the flood gates. I wonder if you can only cry so many tears in one year before your body just says no. Stop. You've got to get a move on with it. My body knows better than my mind.
This week I was reminded that I need to remember who I am. I am Lisa Tatum. I'm a child of God. I'm a warrior. I am passionate. There is more than one reason why I have a crown tattooed on my hip. It is a reminder of who I am and where I come from. Until recently I had been ignoring that reminder. I am strong and independent. I work hard. My word means something. I am reckless. I am emotional. I care.
I mean something.
I am not worthless.
I need to remember that more often.
The dog days are over.
At least this round anyway.
What? No, I'm not being pessimistic. I'm human. I have good days and bad days. My life isn't going to be perfect from here on out. I'll just keep using the lessons learned this year and keep on trucking along. God's grace gets me through the good and the bad. That's why it's GRACE, remember? = )
Love.
So I played trombone this summer, but not nearly enough... My face hurts! Going from one hour a day to four to five just plain hurts! I'll get there though. I need a good kick in the butt for not practicing enough this summer.
What a year this is shaping up to be. Lots of life lessons this year. So many tears shed. So many friends made. So many laughs. So many second chances at life.
I tried to cry the past few days. Like 5 times. I couldn't. I didn't have any tears left. My eyes said no, even though my heart wanted to unlock the flood gates. I wonder if you can only cry so many tears in one year before your body just says no. Stop. You've got to get a move on with it. My body knows better than my mind.
This week I was reminded that I need to remember who I am. I am Lisa Tatum. I'm a child of God. I'm a warrior. I am passionate. There is more than one reason why I have a crown tattooed on my hip. It is a reminder of who I am and where I come from. Until recently I had been ignoring that reminder. I am strong and independent. I work hard. My word means something. I am reckless. I am emotional. I care.
I mean something.
I am not worthless.
I need to remember that more often.
The dog days are over.
At least this round anyway.
What? No, I'm not being pessimistic. I'm human. I have good days and bad days. My life isn't going to be perfect from here on out. I'll just keep using the lessons learned this year and keep on trucking along. God's grace gets me through the good and the bad. That's why it's GRACE, remember? = )
Love.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Amazing grace, what a sweet, sweet sound...
Grace. It is so beautiful. The fact that God can love me in all of my faults...and trust me, I have so many.
I absolutely love going to K2 the Church. This morning the message was about the unlikely hero. Dave Nelson spoke about Moses. God chose to work through Moses and make him a hero even though he couldn't be that on his own. Now that is grace.
Isn't it amazing the way God chooses to work? He takes something absolutely worthless and uses it for His glory. I'm a screwball. I mess up constantly. I make wrong choices all the time. I think I can do things on my own. The truth is, I can't. I'm a sinner, but Jesus died for me anyway. He broke his body and shed his blood to remind me that he loves and forgives me. I'm not perfect, but God loves me anyway... enough to do all of that for me. He can use me in spite of all my faults.
Romans 8:28-
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Bad things happen. Sadness happens. Things get taken away from us. Suffering exists. You've got to learn from it. Suffering leads to perseverance. Perseverance leads to character. I refuse to let my sufferings send me into a hole. Sure, I might cry a little...a lot, actually...but I know that God is there to get me through it. I've got His amazing grace.
Some of you might think all that's a little crazy, a little who-ha even, but that's okay. It works for me, so I'm going with it, and I won't apologize for it. = )
Psalm 19:1-4 -
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
I absolutely love going to K2 the Church. This morning the message was about the unlikely hero. Dave Nelson spoke about Moses. God chose to work through Moses and make him a hero even though he couldn't be that on his own. Now that is grace.
Isn't it amazing the way God chooses to work? He takes something absolutely worthless and uses it for His glory. I'm a screwball. I mess up constantly. I make wrong choices all the time. I think I can do things on my own. The truth is, I can't. I'm a sinner, but Jesus died for me anyway. He broke his body and shed his blood to remind me that he loves and forgives me. I'm not perfect, but God loves me anyway... enough to do all of that for me. He can use me in spite of all my faults.
Romans 8:28-
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Bad things happen. Sadness happens. Things get taken away from us. Suffering exists. You've got to learn from it. Suffering leads to perseverance. Perseverance leads to character. I refuse to let my sufferings send me into a hole. Sure, I might cry a little...a lot, actually...but I know that God is there to get me through it. I've got His amazing grace.
Some of you might think all that's a little crazy, a little who-ha even, but that's okay. It works for me, so I'm going with it, and I won't apologize for it. = )
Psalm 19:1-4 -
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Random...Because my life if just that all the time.
So I've done two of these before. Basically you just sit and put down random thoughts, fact, feelings, opinions, etc, about yourself.
Here's 2008:
10. Sometimes I wish life were a musical.
9. I love the feeling of being sore after a good work out. It means I’m actually pushing myself.
8. I cry when I watch the Lion King
7. I love to perform. I’d do it the rest of my life if given the opportunity.
6. I feel guilty when I eat food that is bad for me (ex. Fried food), but I sometimes eat it anyway.
5. I feel sexy when I run.
4. Right now I have a five year plan (that is falling into place quite well), but I have no clue what I want to do after that.
3. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I do miss living in Wetumpka where everyone knows you and life is pretty quiet.
2. I have this habit, that when I go to someone’s house, I always look in their pantry and/or fridge. I just like to see what they keep in their home.
1. One of my biggest fears is being alone.
8. I cry when I watch the Lion King
7. I love to perform. I’d do it the rest of my life if given the opportunity.
6. I feel guilty when I eat food that is bad for me (ex. Fried food), but I sometimes eat it anyway.
5. I feel sexy when I run.
4. Right now I have a five year plan (that is falling into place quite well), but I have no clue what I want to do after that.
3. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I do miss living in Wetumpka where everyone knows you and life is pretty quiet.
2. I have this habit, that when I go to someone’s house, I always look in their pantry and/or fridge. I just like to see what they keep in their home.
1. One of my biggest fears is being alone.
Here's 2009:
1. Sometimes I wish I lived in a musical, and could sing anytime, anywhere and not get crazy looks.
2. I cry when I watch the Lion King.
3. I love the feeling of being sore after a really good workout. It means I'm actually pushing myself.
4. Performing is one of my favorite things in the world. I'd do it the rest of my life given the opportunity.
5. I feel guilty when I eat food that is bad for me, but sometimes I eat it anyway.
6. I feel sexy when I run.
7. I have this habit, that when I go to someone’s house, I always look in their pantry and/or fridge. I just like to see what they keep in their home.
8. One of my biggest fears is ending up alone.
9. My favorite movie of all time is The Little Mermaid.
10. Speaking of The Little Mermaid, that is the movie that began my love of musicals.
11. If the whole "music thing" isn't working for me 10 years from now, I'm going to open a restaurant.
12. I LOVE to cook.
13. If my parents had not gotten divorced, and I had staid in FL for the 6th grade, I would be playing percussion now, instead of trombone.
14. I love Disney. One of my life goals is to go to every Disney park in the world. I've already finished the US and Japan! :)
15. When I believe in something, I give it 110%.
16. I love love love sushi.
17. I secretly wish I were a vampire. Anne Rice's version, not Stephanie Meyers.
18. I've seen a movie every weekend since coming home from Japan.
19. I want to have children someday, but not anytime soon.
20. Sometimes I have problems speaking up for myself.
21. Being a Brass Angel definetly changed the way I think when performing.
22. It really offends me when people underestimate me. I'm who I am for a reason, when I say I can make something happen, I mean it.
23. I hate the cold. I thrive in sunny weather.
24. I've been blessed in that I've always been able to do whatever I wanted.
25. I love the state of Alabama, but I don't think I can stay here forever.
4. Performing is one of my favorite things in the world. I'd do it the rest of my life given the opportunity.
5. I feel guilty when I eat food that is bad for me, but sometimes I eat it anyway.
6. I feel sexy when I run.
7. I have this habit, that when I go to someone’s house, I always look in their pantry and/or fridge. I just like to see what they keep in their home.
8. One of my biggest fears is ending up alone.
9. My favorite movie of all time is The Little Mermaid.
10. Speaking of The Little Mermaid, that is the movie that began my love of musicals.
11. If the whole "music thing" isn't working for me 10 years from now, I'm going to open a restaurant.
12. I LOVE to cook.
13. If my parents had not gotten divorced, and I had staid in FL for the 6th grade, I would be playing percussion now, instead of trombone.
14. I love Disney. One of my life goals is to go to every Disney park in the world. I've already finished the US and Japan! :)
15. When I believe in something, I give it 110%.
16. I love love love sushi.
17. I secretly wish I were a vampire. Anne Rice's version, not Stephanie Meyers.
18. I've seen a movie every weekend since coming home from Japan.
19. I want to have children someday, but not anytime soon.
20. Sometimes I have problems speaking up for myself.
21. Being a Brass Angel definetly changed the way I think when performing.
22. It really offends me when people underestimate me. I'm who I am for a reason, when I say I can make something happen, I mean it.
23. I hate the cold. I thrive in sunny weather.
24. I've been blessed in that I've always been able to do whatever I wanted.
25. I love the state of Alabama, but I don't think I can stay here forever.
Here's 2011:
A lot of things are still the same. Some of them have changed. I've learned some other lessons since these.
1. I miss the stage
2. I really do love teaching. I love seeing someone get something for the first time and continuing to improve upon it.
3. The Salt Lake City Farmers Market at Pioneer Park is one of my favorite things in the valley.
4. I'm actually looking forward to winter for the first time in my life. Thank you skiing.
5. I change my mind on a daily basis.
6. Loving someone doesn't make them love you.
7. I have no idea what I'll be doing this time next year. You would think that would scare me. It doesn't. Okay, well maybe a little, but I'm not freaking out or anything.
- I've said it before, and I'll say it again...It doesn't matter what you are doing, as long as you are doing it with people you care about.
- After all these years, The Little Mermaid is still my favorite movie of all time. Yup, go ahead and laugh.
- I love finding new clean recipes for my collection.
- I'm trying real hard to not become bitter. People keep trying to make me that way though...
- I still love to run, but it is getting way harder on my body.
- Being sick for 2 weeks is awful.
- People in Salt Lake City are pretty rocking.
- I can tell myself something doesn't matter. I can tell myself that all night long. It doesn't make it hurt any less.
- Bed bugs are not a fun thing. At all.
- I'm not afraid to do what I have to do.
- I just don't understand why we treat people the way we do. When did it become okay to treat people like garbage? To just throw them away like they meant nothing.
- Tomorrow will always come.
- The sun still shines even when the clouds don't seem like they'll ever go away.
- Life without internet and cable at home isn't so bad, until you're stuck on your couch for two weeks with a bacterial infection.
- I deserve so much more than what I've been settling with.
- Help people when they need it.
- I am obsessed with Del Taco $.99 bean burritos.
25. I need more sushi in my life. Anybody want to start a sushi night with me?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Oh jeez. Here we go again.
I am such a girl.
No really.
I freak out over absolutely nothing at all. . . all the time.
I don't know why I lose my confidence so easily. Really. One little thing doesn't go my direction and I've lot my way. I've been like this for what seems like forever. Sometimes I'm better at controlling my fears, and sometimes I completely lose it and let it tear me down. I remember talking to one of my performance teachers once. How I would make one tiny mistake and my entire performance was ruined for myself. How I felt like I was letting everyone down. He told me I needed to calm down, that I was making a robot out of myself. That the "mistakes" I made were probably the best things some of the other players could do. . . . I'm not really sure that last part made me feel any better then. It sure doesn't make me feel any better now.
Why do I allow myself to go into such a freak out mode? I can't think about anything else when it happens. I'm sitting here at the music building trying to get some trombone time in and I can't even bring myself to pick the instrument off of the ground.
Why wouldn't things go my way? Why do I sometimes allow the negative to overpower the good and positive?
I'm human. I doubt myself. I stress myself out over nothing and everything. I have this need to be in control of my life, but the truth is that it's something I can't always do. I can't control how people respond. I can only control my reactions. I need to be better at controlling my reactions. That is something I am majorly failing at as of late.
Okay. I feel a little better now.
Love.
No really.
I freak out over absolutely nothing at all. . . all the time.
I don't know why I lose my confidence so easily. Really. One little thing doesn't go my direction and I've lot my way. I've been like this for what seems like forever. Sometimes I'm better at controlling my fears, and sometimes I completely lose it and let it tear me down. I remember talking to one of my performance teachers once. How I would make one tiny mistake and my entire performance was ruined for myself. How I felt like I was letting everyone down. He told me I needed to calm down, that I was making a robot out of myself. That the "mistakes" I made were probably the best things some of the other players could do. . . . I'm not really sure that last part made me feel any better then. It sure doesn't make me feel any better now.
Why do I allow myself to go into such a freak out mode? I can't think about anything else when it happens. I'm sitting here at the music building trying to get some trombone time in and I can't even bring myself to pick the instrument off of the ground.
Why wouldn't things go my way? Why do I sometimes allow the negative to overpower the good and positive?
I'm human. I doubt myself. I stress myself out over nothing and everything. I have this need to be in control of my life, but the truth is that it's something I can't always do. I can't control how people respond. I can only control my reactions. I need to be better at controlling my reactions. That is something I am majorly failing at as of late.
Okay. I feel a little better now.
Love.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Songs I'm digging right now. = )
So instead of posting a million links on facebook I figured this would be better. = ) I realize I've posted some of these before, but you'll get over it. = )
Friday, July 22, 2011
Jeremiah 29:11-14
New American Standard Bible:
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found be you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile."
The Message:
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you, bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.
New King James Version:
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place which I cause you to be carried away captive.
'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found be you,' declares the Lord, 'and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile."
The Message:
I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you, bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.
New King James Version:
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place which I cause you to be carried away captive.
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