These days I wake up and I have all of these thoughts and emotions. My heart and mind race from the moment I am awake. Sometimes I don't know how to handle this. On a day like today all I want to do is run some of this energy out and go into super drive, but its cloudy, raining, and cold in Salt Lake today. What will today bring me? I'm determined to not sit in a dark room and listen to music today. In my heart I am determined to be an eternal optimist. My thoughts swirling around in my head this morning want to believe the opposite. I need God's grace today.
Plans for today?
Play trombone. A lot.
Go to the field house. Run a mile (finally starting to build some strength up in my knees again), ride for 25 minutes, and do some abs.
That's about it. We'll see what happens.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
This weekend is brought to you by the letter B.
What a weekend to remember. Hmmm...or not. Maybe the right phrase is this weekend was pretty unforgettable. Why, you ask, is this weekend brought to you by the letter B? Well I'll tell you!
B is for Bedbugs.
Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bight. Can I just say how much CREEPIER that statement is after actually experiencing bedbugs?!?!?!? Yes, I had bed bugs. The little coniving creatures completely took over my cute little studio attic apartment. It was awful. AWFUL. They were everywhere. I woke up one morning to find them all over my bed. I tried to call an exterminator, couldn't find one right then so I figure I would call again the next day. I figured, surely those little creatures won't have found my futon in that little amount of time. Boy was I wrong. I almost cried, no I did cry, when I found them on that side of my apartment. So that night I slept behind my desk on my airbed, and prayed they wouldn't find me on the wood floor in the middle of the night. Again, wrong. So I finally got the exterminator on the line. Spent the night at a friends house, and then on Satureday afternoon (after skiing, of course) the exterminator came and sprayed EVERYthing. Then fog bombed the apartment killing each and every(cross your fingers)one of those little jerks. It was awful. I wouldn't wish those bugs on anyone. I had to wash everything in my apartment and keep it in garbage bags until the apartment was sprayed. Every article of clothing, every towel, every sheet, etc. Let's just say it took forever. At least now my wardrobe is completely clean and all my spring clothes are out of the box! So glad, so so glad to have those things gone. I might scream if they come back. Seriously.
B is for Buca di Beppo!
So for those of you who haven't heard I recently got a job at Buca di Beppo. Now normally I wouldn't apply for corporate restaurants, but lets face it, a girl's gotta pay the bills! To be honest, so far it has actually been a lot of fun, and really no different than working for family owned joints. I'm diggin the people, and have already made some cool new friends. I've been training all week. been there at 4 everyday since Tuesday. I've already racked up 30 hours this week. My first check is gonna be killin. And by killin, Im hopin to at least cover a majority of my next month's rent. Well see how this first paycheck goes. I might be on the lookout for a second job. Hmm or I could just really market myself as a trombone teacher? Who knows. The plus side of training at a corporate restaurant? While you train, you eat for free. The only food I have paid for this week is the poppy seed muffin I bought with my iced-coffee this morning. I have enough Buca in my fridge right now for 4 meals. Insane. It is a good thing that free food thing only happens when you're training, cause other wise I would literally blow up. I'm kinda looking forward to getting back on some strict clean eating. In fact, I just got the newest Clean Eating magazine. Stoked.
B is for the Bird.
The Snowbird that is. Snowbird is now on their late spring ski hours, i.e. they are only open on Friday-Sunday. :( Oh well. There is always next season! :) Haha. On Friday I went up with my pal Owen. It was so fun. I don't believe I can put it into words how much I am growing to absolutely loving skiing. To be on God's creation and to just soak in the beauty of it. There is nothing like it. When I'm on the mountain I feel like everything is going to be okay.
On Saturday I went up by myself. People who ski/board are so cool. I almost perfer going skiing by myself. (I don't know though cause I change my mind every other time, haha). I so enjoy meeting other skiers, and sharing lift chairs up with new people. It is so fun to hear other peoples' stories. Here's the thing about skiing by yourself, well at least for me anyway... I get so used to being on one run. Heck, I'll do the same run 5 times and be completely content in it. Most the time, at least so far, I usually wait until I'm with someone who knows the mountain pretty well before I go explore a new route. People can tell me I should try something and will be fine, and it isn't that I want someone to hold my hand while I discover a new (to me) part of the mountain, but it is so nice to have that comforting feeling that someone is there with you who knows what to expect. To be with someone who has been down that road before.
Well every now and then I get a little adventurous. Sometimes that adventurous streak has led me to trusting myself more, while other times I feel like I put myself in a situation that is over my head. Growth occurs in both of those situations. Saturday was an awesome adventure day. I tried some "new" parts of the mountain. In Mineral Basin there is a black run called High Stakes. I've watched people do it from the lift a million time, and finally decided to give it a whirl. The first time I did it, I've got to admit, I was scared out of my mind! It was a little steeper than I thought, and a little scary, but I made it down without a scratch or yard sale. I'm not the kind of girl to back down from a challenge. I don't give up. I always try something twice before I decide on my feelings for it. So, true to my nature, I went down it again. The second time felt so much better! I knew what to expect, but I still went slow. There was an older gentleman skiing close to me. At one point I stopped before a steep section, and being the polite skier he was, he also stopped. I smiled and told him he was welcome to go ahead of me because I knew I would be going pretty slow down that section. He told me I was doing a great job (I'm sure it was obvious I'm still a rookie at this whole ski thing) and asked if I would mind a quick pointer. Well of course I would love one! He gave me a few tips, and when I told him it was only my second time going down the run and I'd only been skiing for about 2 months he was so impressed and really made me feel good. He said he couldn't believe I was already doing some of that stuff and was so new to the mountain. :) After the pointers, my third run on High Stakes was an absolute blast! I am so looking forward to next winter. (I can't believe I just said that. I hate the cold! Guess Utah and skiing are changing me a little.) I can't wait to get really good at skiing and be able to explore the WHOLE mountain. After my third run on High Stakes I moved over to the Road to Provo where I went a little farther out then I usually go. I had so much fun checking out some other parts of the mountain. Hands down, my best day skiing so far. Here is to even better days to come!
B is for Burgers.
I love Sundays. Absolutely. I love my church. K2 is an amazing place to worship. The church keeps me in check and on track. I feel so blessed every time I attend. I am so blessed that I have to opportunity to give back and serve the church by volunteering at Adventure Canyon (teaching 3-6 grade Sunday school). I have been so blessed to meet some absolutely amazing people through Adventure Canyon. I usually teach every Sunday and share the class with two others that rotate, Katrina and Mark. I ran into Katrina after the early service this morning (it wasn't her Sunday to teach with me) and she invited me to come to Pioner Park with her after the last service was over. There is a pretty large homeless population in SLC and every 3rd Sunday, K2 goes down to the park and provides a meal for them. We had cheeseburgers, potato salad, beans, salad, chips, and cookies. I helped set up and helped serve. What an amazing time to be outside (again, just enjoying God's beautiful creation) and help some folks out. I got to meet some more really amazing people today and had a great time. I can't wait to help out again.
Lessons learned this weekend:
- I am not self sufficient, and I need God in my life. I tend to forget that. I think I've got everything under control. I want to believe that I am the ruler of my life, but let's face it. It just isn't true. He is more than enough for me, and I will follow where He leads.
- Greater things are still to come, and greater things are still to be done. Yes, those are lyrics from a Chris Tomlin praise song. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own self absorbed trials and tribulations that I forget that God has a plan for my life.
- Sometimes God has to break you down to build you back up again. Paul spoke about rejoicing in your trials. He didn't mean scream and holler and be happy that you are going through hell. It is never happy to be in something like that. He meant rejoice in what is to come, because God has a plan. Rejoice in the fact that God can build you up again, as well as what is to come because of the trials you experience. Greater things are still to come.
B is for Bedbugs.
Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bight. Can I just say how much CREEPIER that statement is after actually experiencing bedbugs?!?!?!? Yes, I had bed bugs. The little coniving creatures completely took over my cute little studio attic apartment. It was awful. AWFUL. They were everywhere. I woke up one morning to find them all over my bed. I tried to call an exterminator, couldn't find one right then so I figure I would call again the next day. I figured, surely those little creatures won't have found my futon in that little amount of time. Boy was I wrong. I almost cried, no I did cry, when I found them on that side of my apartment. So that night I slept behind my desk on my airbed, and prayed they wouldn't find me on the wood floor in the middle of the night. Again, wrong. So I finally got the exterminator on the line. Spent the night at a friends house, and then on Satureday afternoon (after skiing, of course) the exterminator came and sprayed EVERYthing. Then fog bombed the apartment killing each and every(cross your fingers)one of those little jerks. It was awful. I wouldn't wish those bugs on anyone. I had to wash everything in my apartment and keep it in garbage bags until the apartment was sprayed. Every article of clothing, every towel, every sheet, etc. Let's just say it took forever. At least now my wardrobe is completely clean and all my spring clothes are out of the box! So glad, so so glad to have those things gone. I might scream if they come back. Seriously.
B is for Buca di Beppo!
So for those of you who haven't heard I recently got a job at Buca di Beppo. Now normally I wouldn't apply for corporate restaurants, but lets face it, a girl's gotta pay the bills! To be honest, so far it has actually been a lot of fun, and really no different than working for family owned joints. I'm diggin the people, and have already made some cool new friends. I've been training all week. been there at 4 everyday since Tuesday. I've already racked up 30 hours this week. My first check is gonna be killin. And by killin, Im hopin to at least cover a majority of my next month's rent. Well see how this first paycheck goes. I might be on the lookout for a second job. Hmm or I could just really market myself as a trombone teacher? Who knows. The plus side of training at a corporate restaurant? While you train, you eat for free. The only food I have paid for this week is the poppy seed muffin I bought with my iced-coffee this morning. I have enough Buca in my fridge right now for 4 meals. Insane. It is a good thing that free food thing only happens when you're training, cause other wise I would literally blow up. I'm kinda looking forward to getting back on some strict clean eating. In fact, I just got the newest Clean Eating magazine. Stoked.
B is for the Bird.
The Snowbird that is. Snowbird is now on their late spring ski hours, i.e. they are only open on Friday-Sunday. :( Oh well. There is always next season! :) Haha. On Friday I went up with my pal Owen. It was so fun. I don't believe I can put it into words how much I am growing to absolutely loving skiing. To be on God's creation and to just soak in the beauty of it. There is nothing like it. When I'm on the mountain I feel like everything is going to be okay.
On Saturday I went up by myself. People who ski/board are so cool. I almost perfer going skiing by myself. (I don't know though cause I change my mind every other time, haha). I so enjoy meeting other skiers, and sharing lift chairs up with new people. It is so fun to hear other peoples' stories. Here's the thing about skiing by yourself, well at least for me anyway... I get so used to being on one run. Heck, I'll do the same run 5 times and be completely content in it. Most the time, at least so far, I usually wait until I'm with someone who knows the mountain pretty well before I go explore a new route. People can tell me I should try something and will be fine, and it isn't that I want someone to hold my hand while I discover a new (to me) part of the mountain, but it is so nice to have that comforting feeling that someone is there with you who knows what to expect. To be with someone who has been down that road before.
Well every now and then I get a little adventurous. Sometimes that adventurous streak has led me to trusting myself more, while other times I feel like I put myself in a situation that is over my head. Growth occurs in both of those situations. Saturday was an awesome adventure day. I tried some "new" parts of the mountain. In Mineral Basin there is a black run called High Stakes. I've watched people do it from the lift a million time, and finally decided to give it a whirl. The first time I did it, I've got to admit, I was scared out of my mind! It was a little steeper than I thought, and a little scary, but I made it down without a scratch or yard sale. I'm not the kind of girl to back down from a challenge. I don't give up. I always try something twice before I decide on my feelings for it. So, true to my nature, I went down it again. The second time felt so much better! I knew what to expect, but I still went slow. There was an older gentleman skiing close to me. At one point I stopped before a steep section, and being the polite skier he was, he also stopped. I smiled and told him he was welcome to go ahead of me because I knew I would be going pretty slow down that section. He told me I was doing a great job (I'm sure it was obvious I'm still a rookie at this whole ski thing) and asked if I would mind a quick pointer. Well of course I would love one! He gave me a few tips, and when I told him it was only my second time going down the run and I'd only been skiing for about 2 months he was so impressed and really made me feel good. He said he couldn't believe I was already doing some of that stuff and was so new to the mountain. :) After the pointers, my third run on High Stakes was an absolute blast! I am so looking forward to next winter. (I can't believe I just said that. I hate the cold! Guess Utah and skiing are changing me a little.) I can't wait to get really good at skiing and be able to explore the WHOLE mountain. After my third run on High Stakes I moved over to the Road to Provo where I went a little farther out then I usually go. I had so much fun checking out some other parts of the mountain. Hands down, my best day skiing so far. Here is to even better days to come!
B is for Burgers.
I love Sundays. Absolutely. I love my church. K2 is an amazing place to worship. The church keeps me in check and on track. I feel so blessed every time I attend. I am so blessed that I have to opportunity to give back and serve the church by volunteering at Adventure Canyon (teaching 3-6 grade Sunday school). I have been so blessed to meet some absolutely amazing people through Adventure Canyon. I usually teach every Sunday and share the class with two others that rotate, Katrina and Mark. I ran into Katrina after the early service this morning (it wasn't her Sunday to teach with me) and she invited me to come to Pioner Park with her after the last service was over. There is a pretty large homeless population in SLC and every 3rd Sunday, K2 goes down to the park and provides a meal for them. We had cheeseburgers, potato salad, beans, salad, chips, and cookies. I helped set up and helped serve. What an amazing time to be outside (again, just enjoying God's beautiful creation) and help some folks out. I got to meet some more really amazing people today and had a great time. I can't wait to help out again.
Lessons learned this weekend:
- I am not self sufficient, and I need God in my life. I tend to forget that. I think I've got everything under control. I want to believe that I am the ruler of my life, but let's face it. It just isn't true. He is more than enough for me, and I will follow where He leads.
- Greater things are still to come, and greater things are still to be done. Yes, those are lyrics from a Chris Tomlin praise song. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own self absorbed trials and tribulations that I forget that God has a plan for my life.
- Sometimes God has to break you down to build you back up again. Paul spoke about rejoicing in your trials. He didn't mean scream and holler and be happy that you are going through hell. It is never happy to be in something like that. He meant rejoice in what is to come, because God has a plan. Rejoice in the fact that God can build you up again, as well as what is to come because of the trials you experience. Greater things are still to come.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
What if I was wrong?
I can’t promise you that I won’t let you down.
And I can’t promise you that I will be the only one around when your hope falls down.
But we’re young, open flowers in the windy fields of this war torn world.
And love, this city brings the plague of loving things more than the creator.
I ran away.
I could not take the burden of both me and you.
It was too fast,
Casting love on me
As if it were a spell I could not break
When it was a promise I could not make.
What if I was wrong?
What if I was wrong?
Oh, what if I was wrong?
But hold on to what you believe,
In the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.
In the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.
And, oh hold on to what you believe,
In the light when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.
And now this land means less and less to me without you breathing through its trees.
At every turn, the water runs away from me and the halo disappears.
I’m not whole when you’re not near.
So what if I was wrong?
What if I was wrong?
Oh, what if I was wrong?
But hold on to what you believe,
In the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.
In the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.
And, oh hold on to what you believe,
In the light when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight.
So hold on to what you believe in the light. . .
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair. . . .
I feel like this song was written just for me.
Monday, May 9, 2011
A broader look. . .
I am heartbroken tonight.
I have no right to complain about anything in my life.
I am so lucky. I have a beautiful studio loft apartment. I have the opportunity to finish a masters degree within a year from now. I have my health. I have enough. I am never hungry. I have a church that I love and lifts me up. I have some of the most beautiful souls in the world as friends. As many self absorbed sadness-es and sorrows I want to believe that I have had, I have never had to face true sorrow or torment. Never had to face true devastation. I may have felt like I've lost everything from time to time. Again self absorbed. I have friends in Tuscaloosa who have lost everything. One of my teachers and advisers at UA lost everything in the storms that hit just days ago. And she isn't the only one. So many people have lost so much. Seen so much pain.
Tonight a beautiful soul left this earth. Anna fought long and hard with leukemia. She was a fighter. What an amazing fighter. She is an inspiration. Loved by so many. I don't even know what else to say.
Love and prayers go out to the Gordon family right now and the future. I, along with hundreds (if not thousands), just wish I could give them all a hug. Prayers for peace and understanding. . . for all.
Prayers and of course, love.
I have no right to complain about anything in my life.
I am so lucky. I have a beautiful studio loft apartment. I have the opportunity to finish a masters degree within a year from now. I have my health. I have enough. I am never hungry. I have a church that I love and lifts me up. I have some of the most beautiful souls in the world as friends. As many self absorbed sadness-es and sorrows I want to believe that I have had, I have never had to face true sorrow or torment. Never had to face true devastation. I may have felt like I've lost everything from time to time. Again self absorbed. I have friends in Tuscaloosa who have lost everything. One of my teachers and advisers at UA lost everything in the storms that hit just days ago. And she isn't the only one. So many people have lost so much. Seen so much pain.
Tonight a beautiful soul left this earth. Anna fought long and hard with leukemia. She was a fighter. What an amazing fighter. She is an inspiration. Loved by so many. I don't even know what else to say.
Love and prayers go out to the Gordon family right now and the future. I, along with hundreds (if not thousands), just wish I could give them all a hug. Prayers for peace and understanding. . . for all.
Prayers and of course, love.
Sad today.
“Lived unbruised we are friends…”
What does that mean to you? To me it means that it’s so easy to be friends. To not put yourself out there… To take the easy way out. Heart break and bruises are the risks we take. What a sad life, to be so afraid of something that could be so sweet.
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